Letter to Mom: Emotions of the Untold

Lost away in the flunks of the world,  

Whispers of hell calling your name,  

Silence tormenting your will.  

Without a firm hold, away you go…  

Trying to hold on to the screams of disaster!  

Wilting beyond your worth,  

Why her, Lord? I love her; she’s fundamental to me.  

Weakness shattering my hope, one cycle after another, 

It escalates. You said that joy is your purpose.

I cried in a dark room, sitting down, reflecting, and asking why.

"Lord, please bring her back!"  

You answered, rising up my hope but then it only got worse, propelling beyond my strength.

Mom, In despair, our hearts longed for your return.  

Can I not smile with eternity? 

Looking at her in tranquility?  

Mom, I cry out!  

And then I heard a voice echoing through the shallow winds.  

Nicole!!! It’s not over…  

I turned, surprised by the bridle,  

But then I saw a light shining so bright,  

Redeeming me to the book of Habakkuk.  

Rebellion was I, claiming that your silence left me lonely,  

Slipping into a dark world.  

You called me unto salvation, but yet you test me?

How brave can I be? You heard my brokenness, the amount of hurt that I had to endure, but I stand tall through the grass, pasturing with rejoice.

You said unto me, daughter it all shall be fine, for I will guide you and no matter how rocky it gets, remember that your faith will be your victory.

Mom will be fine, "I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you". Joel 2:25.

The book of Habakkuk, 1:5 says, "Behold ye among the heathen, and regard, and wonder marvelously: for I will work a work in your days, which ye will not believe, though it be told you."

My doubt has stood in the way, but I believe in you. "Mother, it will be fine."

Lord, the tears that I've cried in my darkest nights will be restored. You will give me beauty for ashes, and joy for mourning. My arms will be wide open upon her return.